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Warning! Cursing, self harm, suicide, I do not encourage any of this

I kissed the scars on her skin
I still think you're beautiful
And I don't ever want to lose my best friend.

You woke up and got ready for school. You dreaded going to school, the place made you feel terrible enough as it is, even without the judgmental assholes.

You tied your [h/l] [h/c] hair into a messy bun and threw on some random shirt and a pair jeans then headed out the door. You didn't eat in fear of seeing your brother who is, sadly, your guardian. You ran to school in the hope of not meeting any of your bullies before school. Seems like luck just loves you though, note the sarcasm.

"Hey little bitch! Pay up!" Erin, the one who most would call the prettiest most popular bitch in the school, had shoved you into a wall before saying this.

"Really? Pay up? What is this, some fucking TV drama? Is that the best you could come up with whore?" You had responded, which probably wasn't the best idea. Next thing you know pain is spreading throughout your stomach and you're on the floor. You clutched at your stomach, which is where this bitch had decided to punch you.

"How dare you! I am not a fucking slut!" She screamed. The best thing for you would of probably been keeping your mouth shut and just taking the beating, but you're [F/ name] [L/ name], you back down to no one.

"Honey, I used the word whore, but yeah that too."

The smirk on her face dropped and she glared, "Yeah I can do that too," you said and just glared back. She proceeded to continually kick you with the help of her little posy. They kept throwing out insults and names, and you kept throwing them back until the pain became unbearable. You may have had a big mouth, but physical self defense wasn't your strong suite. In all honesty, you were terrified, but hiding behind the bitchy façade was better than being a wimp and showing them how weak you actually are.

You were on the brink of passing out, vision was distorted and you were having trouble hearing. You noticed how it had stopped though, maybe they finally decided to finally stop and leave you be. There were still figures, and now talking, which confused you. If there still here than they would still continue beating the shit out of you.

After a bit you came back too and noticed a boy with silver hair standing there. He was in front of you, shielding you from the others. You heard a familiar voice say "5 against 1? That's a little unfair now isn't it?"

"But Gil!" Erin had whined. 'Oh great, another one of these popular assholes,' you thought. "She's a nobody! Who cares if she gets a little beat up?"

He turned a little to look down at you and his red eyes had taken you back. He looked back over to them, an eyebrow raised, "A little?"

"Why do you care about her so much?"

"Why are you beating an innocent person? What did she ever do to you, hmmm? It is totally unawesome to do anything like this. Now, please go back to your everyday life of fucking everyone on the football team."

"I would never cheat on my boyfriend!" She yelled.

"Fräulein, you were trying to get in my pants just last week, don't even." He replied smugly and turned to help you up. She let out one last scream of frustration then stomped away with the other girls.

You went to thank him and leave, but he interrupted you before you could. "Hello frau! I am the awesome Gilbert Beilschmidt! Who may you be, beauty?" And he was irritating.

"[F/name] [L/name]. Thanks for the help, even though I didn't need it."

"Didn't look like it. If I hadn't of stopped them you would of probably been knocked out. By the way, you're bleeding a lot."

"Nice observation, Sherlock."

"Fuck off, Watson." He replied with that stupid grin. "Now please come with me to the nurse so you don't die from blood loss." A little reluctant, you agree and follow him to the nurse.

"So, [name], how long have they been bothering you?" He suddenly asked.

"Awhile, why?" You answered.

"Just curious. They shouldn't bother you anymore, and if they do, you've got the awesome me to protect you!" He jumped up onto one of the beds in the nurse's office and posed. Seems she wasn't there.

"Listen up buddy, I don't need protecting."

"Say that to the black eye, sweetie." Once again, he pisses you off. You will admit, he is a pretty decent person. As well as very attractive. You especially love his eyes. "Now sit down so I can figure out how the hell to deal with all those injuries." He said while rummaging through cabinets.

"Don't call me sweetie," you had grumbled yet sat down obediently. As he helped clean out wounds and wrap them, you both had talked for awhile. You found out he wasn't that bad of a person and had similar interest, but you still had to be cautious and keep up the act of being a sarcastic bitch. Even after that, you ended up getting close to him. He was the first person you could actually call a friend in a long time. It actually made you feel better.

I screamed out, "God, you vulture,
Bring her back or take me with her"

You were tired. In pain. You wanted to die. It felt like no one wanted you, not even your "awesome" friend Gil. The bullying just got worse after you two became friends. Every girl thought of you as a target. It just got worse as you got even closer. You kept up the act though, around everyone. You fought back, which never ended well because Gil usually ended up saving you after you were black and blue with some red mixed in as well. This time, though, you were caught on the way home. Gil had been absent from school due to sickness, which he called you to complain about while you got ready and walked to school

("[Name], I'm dying. Be prepared to plan the funeral. Make sure you dress up as the grim reaper. Make sure that highway to hell plays."

"You aren't dying, Gil, now leave me be I have class.")

After the horror of insults and beating, it broke you down. Usually it isn't that bad. Yeah, it always sucks, but the words they had said dug themselves into your mind and planned to stay.

You've had it. You wanted this all to stop. You are so sick and tired of everything, and it's about time you went through with the plan. The one where you're ready to end it. You knew how it would end. You planned it a few years ago after the death of your parents. You wanted to know how it felt. Flying, that is. yeah, cheesy as it sounds, that was your biggest dream when you were younger. What better way to kill yourself then jumping off a bridge? That was how you wanted it to end.

After the group that had jumped you left, you knew where to go. After 20 minutes of walking, you found yourself at a bridge. Standing somewhat away from the rail, you started to think. Everything hurt. Your legs were about to give out on you, you couldn't feel your arms, your face was probably fucked to the point makeup wouldn't cover it, everything hurt. Then you thought of Gil. This was going to hurt him, but he's better off without you. He is the only person who will care, but he will eventually realize that he has nothing to be sad about.

You approached the railing and gripped it tightly. Were you really about to do this? You looked down at the water below. it looked so calming. Instead of daily beatings, this would engulf you and make you feel free. You wouldn't have to deal with abuse from your peers or your brother, who was even worse then everyone at school.

"Well, looks like you've finally won assholes." You whispered. Pulling yourself over to the other side of the railing. A bunch of thoughts suddenly rushed to your head. they were filled with memories of your parents, of your brother when he actually loved you, of the group of friends who were there for you before they all left, of Gilbert. You felt something wet running down your face. Thinking it was rain you looked up at the sky, but then realized you were crying. Letting out a bitter laugh you looked back down. "I'm sorry. Looks like I'm joining you guys early." You whimpered as you spoke aloud to your parents.

Turning around, you looked at the place around you one more time. This bridge was one of your favorite places. No one ever came by here, and it was very peaceful. This was the place you went to for relief. Quite literally, this time.

After you felt you soaked in the reality of everything enough, you let go and spread your arms, letting the tears fall along with you. There was a splash that echoed, water filled your lungs. You didn't fight it. After some time, the only thing left of you was an empty body.

It had taken them a month to find you. After several reports from Gilbert, they went out and looked. Gil had been devastated. He remembers when his brother had told him, "Gilbert, about that missing girl... They found her." He was so excited but when he realized his brothers glum mood he became worried. His brother continued. "The thing is, she... Gil she's dead. She had killed herself." He broke down then and there.

Tear it down, break the barricade
I want to see what sound it makes
I hate this flavor with a passion and I fucking hate the aftertaste

"Why am I so fucking blind? Why the fuck didn't she tell me?" He was at the entrance to the graveyard. The last time he was here was the day of the funeral. It was too painful to. He finally gotten his courage after his therapist suggested it.

Your death had changed his whole life. He wasn't the same. He can barely sleep or eat anymore, he blames everything on himself. He constantly asks himself why he didn't notice, he was your best friend god dammit. Your death had stricken the once bright and obnoxious Gilbert Beilschmidt silent.

After several minutes at the entrance, he convinced himself to make his way to your grave. All he did at first was stare. Then he finally lost it and started to sob. He was grieving, and the wretched sobs that left were accompanied by words asking why. Why didn't he notice? Why didn't you tell him? Why did it happen to you? Why would anyone hate someone as beautiful and amazing at you.

He sat there for hours, the crying had died down eventually. He felt numb, all his feeling were absent from him. He felt so weak. He felt so guilty. He finally decided to leave once it started to become dark. All he wanted was to bring you back. he missed you so much.

How does it feel? How does it feel?
Well it feels like I'm on fire!
Wake up, I know you can hear me.

Suddenly you opened your eyes. The sky. That was what you saw. You looked around, you were lying at the place where the people who attacked you left you. You were alive! Relief instantly flooded your system. You had passed out, it was all just a nightmare. Being beaten wasn't exactly the fun zone you wanted, but you were alive and that's all that mattered.

After some time of laying down, you realized just how late it was. "Shit!" You yelled and moved as fast as you could to get home. Your brother wasn't going to be happy. This wasn't good. You hoped and prayed when you got home he would be passed out on the couch or locked in his room. If he notices you it wouldn't be good.

Walking up to the porch, you took a deep breath and slowly opened the door. peeking in, you saw that your brother was in the living room. he couldn't see the door from where he was, but he was awake. Maybe you could sneak by without being noticed. The only thing you need to get by in the doorway to the living room without being seen.

You could feel your heart beating in your ears. it was hard and loud. Honestly, you were terrified. You made your way inside and closed the door as silently as you could, then made your way very slowly by. You were about to make it. You could do this! Then you made the mistake of tripping.

"Finally home, bitch? Where the hell were you?" He had got up and walked over to you. You tried to get up, but he just pushed you back down, grabbed the front of your shirt, and pulled your face close to his. He reeked of alcohol.

"I-I'm sorry brother I was just--" he silenced you with a slap and continued talking himself.

"Shut up! I bet you were whoring yourself off for money. Fucking disgusting. You ruin everything, fucking trash. Just like you ruined this family, and me. Our parents are dead because of you." He continued screaming all these things at you.

He let go of you and you thought he was going to leave you be, but then he yanked on your hair and began dragging you to the kitchen. At this point you were crying and desperately trying to get him to leave you alone, things like, "I'm sorry, please no, let me go please, please," leaving your mouth.

In the kitchen, he dragged you to a wall and smashed your head against it a few times, let go, walked over to the counter. He grabbed dishes and began throwing them. He was laughing and screaming at you. "Maybe this will finally kill you. I never wanted a little sister in the first place."

He left you on the kitchen floor, bleeding and crying, you felt like you were about to die. You had a lost a lot of blood. You tried your best to drag yourself out the back door. Once you were out you stared walking, to where you don't know. You could barley walk or breath. Your vision became fuzzy and every sound sounded far away. You ended up passing out along side a road.

Now it felt like you were floating through water. It was completely black, it was a nice content feeling. You occasionally would see light and try to swim toward it, but it always seemed to disappear right before you got there. It wasn't a bad feeling, but where were you?

It seemed to be like that for several days.

Make me a promise here tonight, love like a tidal wave
Dreamless in early graves, I never want it to be this way
The chemicals will bring you home again
This is it, when it's done, we can say that,
When it's sudden death we fight back

The light went away for awhile. You used to see it often but is became less frequent. You had almost forgotten the light was real until it appeared once again after what felt like weeks. You almost let it go because you were never able to get to it, but this time you had a feeling it was important to follow this light. So you did.

You swam as hard as you could toward the light. Your legs were starting to become weak, your arms were having trouble pulling you along, but you pushed through and continued. As you got closer, the intense feeling of needing the light became stronger. Finally, you caught up to it. Reaching out your hand it had started to glow and closed around something.

Pulling it down, you stopped and looked at your closed fist. After sometime of waiting and having the feeling of warmth consume you, you opened up your hand and saw a little circle. It looked like a pearl. You looked at it in awe, but then you became very tired. You closed your eyes and let the tired feeling consume you.

Next thing you know, your eyes are opening, and it's bright, too bright. You blink a few times trying to get your eyes used to the feeling, then you looked around trying to figure out where you were. A hospital. You were in a hospital. And in a lot of pain, damn. You were confused, but then all the memories came back. Passing out, the dream, your brother. Once again you found tears falling from your eyes. Then someone enters the room. It was Gilbert. He was holding a cup of coffee and looks like he hasn't slept in a few year.

His eyes had widened and he dropped the cup and flung himself at you. He pulled you into a hug that knocked the air out of you. Suddenly he was crying, but laughing. After awhile he let go and pulled away a bit so he could see your face. He smiled at you and you both started to giggle a bit. "Gil, you look terrible."

He had burst into laughter then, out of relief and happiness to see you. Then he replied with, "Look in a mirror recently, frau?" You were so happy to see him. Sadly, remembering your brother, the smile dropped. "[Name]? You okay?"

"Uh, my... My brother? Where is he?" You asked, fear evident in your voice.

"Prison. After you were found and rushed to the hospital, it was clear you didn't make those injuries yourself. You woke up a bit at one point and said that your brother hurt you but passed out once again right after. I was so worried, frau, I though you were gone. they said you most likely wouldn't make it, I was so afraid. You've been in a coma for about a week now."

You couldn't believe it. You almost died. You were almost murdered by your own brother. You pushed yourself into Gil, resting your head on his chest as you started to bawl. He had started to run his hand through your hair that was probably greasy as shit but you were to upset to care.

"I just, I was in so much pain, Gil, it was so much. It hurt so badly. Why doesn't anyone like me? Not even my family loved me. My brother, the one who has been looking after me for years, he hates me. He almost killed me, Gil. He almost *hic* h-he almost... Gil, why was I born?" You felt so broken, and sounded it too.

"Listen, [Name], you aren't hated by everyone. Your brother is broken himself, he isn't a good person because he let his pain consume his every being. And neither are the other people who put you through hell everyday. You were born for a reason. You are such an amazing person, [Name]. Your birth wasn't a mistake, you are loved, I love you [Name]. You know that. Please, don't blame yourself for others jealousy and rage. You are a beautify awesome person who was sadly given a life of misery."

You nodded and thanked him, then stayed silent as he calmed you down. After you stopped crying he said he had to get the nurse to let them know you were awake. After that they had asked you some questions about memory and injuries, then after some testing they announced they would keep you over night. Then the living situation had to be figured out. Luckily, that was resolved quickly, Gil had spoke to his family. You would be staying with them until your aunt had come and moved down.

You didn't even know she existed, maybe you saw her at the funeral of your parents. She planned on moving down in the area, and she was being given custody of you.

After being released from the hospital, you thought everything would be fine. Sadly, that's not how it works. It's better than before, but the trauma of abuse and almost being killed had still been there. It was a wound that would take awhile to heal. You were now seeing a therapist weekly, and also had to take medicine. They suspect pstd. With all the support from Gil, you were staying afloat. You also got to meet your aunt who you would be living with.

She is very nice, but fear still plagues you. What if it is all an act and it goes back to how it is before. With all of the things going on, you were sent into a panic attack and voiced your concerns to Gilbert. He sat with you the whole time and reassured you as much as he could. After you calmed down you also told Gil about your dream, the one you had about suicide. He listened to every word, and he also cried. You did as well.

When you were finished explaining the dream Gil quickly pulled you into a tight hug and asked you to promise him something. "Yeah?" You asked as you hugged him back.

"Please, never think of yourself as worthless. I need you in my life, [Name]. You have so much to live for, please know this. And never, never ever, think of suicide as an answer. It won't solve your problems. You always have me. You also have your aunt, even my family!" He said. You had even gotten close to Gil's family, cause they had witnessed some ugly breakdowns themselves and had to help you because Gil was at school. You've been doing online school for awhile because going back to the place with everyone else wouldn't be the safest option.

You hugged him tighter. "I won't. I mean, everything is hard right now, and I can't promise I won't think of myself as anything, but I won't kill myself. Thank you, Gil."

Pretend like I don't entice you
I've seen you circling the sky above my head
You traitor

"You promised [Name]. Please, climb back over here, don't do this." Gil rushed out. Things were getting better, they really were, but you hit rock bottom again. You tried going back to school, being home all the time was getting boring. That was the first mistake. Most people ignored you now, but one day one person, Erin, had came back and started it up again. She had known everything that happened somehow and used words that were like ripping open old wounds and pouring salt into them. Then you found out your aunt had cancer, the one who had taken you in and showed you love you haven't felt in a real long time. She has a 50% chance of survival, but that's not enough to be reassuring. Now you can't even see Gilbert much, he is grounded because his grades are dropping and his parents aren't happy.

It had gotten so bad again you turned to self harm. It was small little cat scratches at first, but now it was to the point where you sometimes got dizzy from blood loss. Scars, old and new, covering your arms, legs, even your stomach. The cuts are becoming deeper and deeper. Some of them probably needed stitches, but you weren't about to tell anyone. Nobody cared enough to notice is what you thought.

Back to the situation at hand, you turned and faced Gilbert. "Promises are meant to be broken, Gil... I tried to keep this promise. It's too much. No one noticed again. Not even you."

"[Name}, we all know that you're in pain, we know, just please--" he was interrupted.

"No! No you haven't! None of you have!" You screamed, ripping your jacket off and throwing it to the ground, the marks on your arms put on display. Gilbert let out and audible gasp. "If you knew, you would of noticed. I haven't been getting better, it's all getting worse, I want it to stop, Gil, I want it to stop, please let me die, please, please, please, Gil, I can't do this anymore, please." You were crying even harder. You seemed to do that a lot.

Gil started speaking, his words running together and rushed, he was becoming desperate, "[Name], please come here, please, why didn't you tell me, please come over to me. I can't lose you, [Name]. I can't, I just can't. Let me help you, I'm begging. I'm so sorry, I'm sorry I failed to notice once again, please don't let go, don't fall." He had fallen to his knees, crying in desperation.

I will never be taken for granted again
Keep digging holes in the desert
Say a prayer for you
I know that you're in pain
But if we die at the same time does it still scare you?

"I'm sorry, Gil." You let go, he screamed and ran toward you. Heart beating a hundred times per second, he could hear it, he reached out, still screaming, and grabbed your hand. He pulled as hard as he could, ignoring your pleas for him to let go, to let you fall.

"You are not dying, [Name], I'm not about to let that happen!" He almost had a heart attack, then and there, as you started to slip. He pulled harder, and prayed to the god he didn't believe in, and finally, he got you up. He pulled you over to the side of the rail you were meant to be, and pulled you into a hug. You were letting out broken sobs and started to fall to the ground, Gilbert followed you.

Sitting on the ground, he was gripping you for dear life, he pulled out his phone and called an ambulance, explained the situation and where you both were. Twenty minutes later, you were sitting in a hospital room once again. They were examining you, and treating the wounds they could. Your aunt was informed of what happened vaguely, and she was on her way, Gilbert was in the hallway calling his brother Ludwig, talking to him about the whole situation.

Make me a promise here tonight. Let's go!
Dreamless in early graves, I never want it to be this way
The chemicals will bring you home again
This is it, when it's done, we can say that,
Oh my God we're not gonna make it

You had become an impatient after that. You had spilled your guts to the doctor and your aunt. After a freak-out from her, she had signed the papers for impatient. You were to be there until deemed mentally stable enough.

At first, you were extremely upset over this. But after being there for a couple of weeks, you made some friends with others. The group therapy session also helped a lot. Gilbert and your aunt would visit every week, giving you updates from back home and you told them stories about different things in the hospital.

You still had the thoughts, but you knew everyone would help you through it. After three months, two weeks, and three days, you were deemed stable enough to go home. It was very emotional day, you had to say goodbye to all the friends you made there, but could still contact them when they were able to get out themselves. The first thing you did when you got out was went out to lunch with Gilbert, his parents and brother, as well as your aunt. You even got to meet Ludwig's boyfriend, Feliciano. He was really sweet and nice to you, and never even mentioned the gnarly scars that covered your arms. You were really glad for that, and had a nice day.

We will bring the tidal wave
We will bring the tidal wave
We will bring the tidal wave
We will bring the tidal wave!

We will bring the tidal wave
We will bring the tidal wave
We will bring the tidal wave
And nothing will remain

When you got out you only had about a week of school. Things were still hard, and you still dealt with relapses and panic attacks. Just because you went to the hospital for so long and got help didn't mean that the mental issues would go away right away. Luckily, everyone understood that. It pained you whenever your aunt or Gil checked your arms and legs and saw new cuts. They would hold you, you would always cry and they would as well sometimes.

Then the last day of school came. You were ecstatic to be out! Sadly, the happy feeling didn't last long. Erin had come up to you and started some shit. "You know, everything's an act right? Gilly doesn't really like you. Only if your suicide attempt had succeeded, he would of realized this by now. Boo." She pouted. You were going to ignore it at first, but this had gone on long enough.

You turned to her and spoke back, "Gilly? Really? Man, you're so fucking disgusting, get over yourself already you god damn slut. I don't know why you keep going after him, he has made it very clear, several times, that he's not into girls who fuck any guy that comes along who has money. Suck my non-existent cock, motherfucker." You flipped her off and walked over to Gil, who was observing down the hallway.

"Damn, [Name], you told her." He said, high fiving you, "That was fucking awesome! Not as awesome as me, though."

"Whatever you say, Gilly," You replied continuing your way down the hallway/

"Fine, fine." You two walked in silence for a little while. It was the end of the day, and Gild was coming so you walked together. He spoke up once you both got to the house. "So, how are you doing?" he asked in a soft spoken voice.

"I'm doing... Good. Well, okay. I haven't, uh, haven't touched a blade for a couple of days. I know... I know that isn't much, but it is for me. And I haven't had the urge to either. But I haven't had a panic attack for about a month now!"

He smiled, "That's good. Your aunt still wants me to check. Sorry." You told him it was fine and showed him arms and legs. He lightly traced over some of the scars as he checked, but stayed silent. After that you both watched sat around and talked about random shit and eventually watched a movie. Your aunt came home to you sleeping in his arms on the couch. It is pretty obvious to everyone else, but you two like each other. A lot. But neither of you have the guts to admit it, because the friendship you have is one you don't want to lose.

She's mine
You stay away from her
It's not her time.
'Cause, baby, I'm the one
Who haunts her dreams at night,
Until she's satisfied.

You were sitting in Gil's room, laying down as you waited for him to finish his chores. You had come over for another movie marathon, but he was told he had to finish his chores first. As you laid down you thought for awhile. Your feelings for Gilbert had been growing. It has gotten to the point where you can admit you were in love with him. You sighed and walked over to his pet bird. The fucking nerd named his bird Gilbird, you thought it was adorable despite the teasing you always do because of it.

"Hey there, Gilbird. What do you think I should do about my crush on your dork of an owner?" The little bird chirped and jumped around in the cage a bit. "Thank you." You giggled.

"[Name], I finished cleaning." He yelled as he ran in and jumped on his bed, "What is the first movie we are watching?"

"Warning next time please, you gave me a heart attack!" You scolded.

"Ja, ja... So, what movie?"

"Perks of Being a Wallflower?" You asked.

"We watch that movie every time we have a movie marathon. Jeez, frau, are you ever gonna get sick of that movie?"

"Nope!" You yelled and jumped beside him on the bed, and continued while jumping up and down, "Put it on, put it on, put it on, put it on, put it onnnn!"

"Okay, okay, calm down!" He got up and grabbed the case and put it in. "I'm gonna go make the popcorn. No need to pause it, I've seen it a million times." He seemed kind of nervous as he put the movie it. He played it and quickly left the room.

You were confused but decided to ignore it. It was Gilbert of all people, he's always weird. Little did you know, he didn't put on the movie you wanted, but he did put in a video that he made.

Make me a promise here tonight, love like a tidal wave
Dreamless in early graves, I never want it to be this way
The chemicals will bring you home again
This is it, when it's done, we can say that,
When it's sudden death we fight back!

You really loved the movie, and was disappointed to see that the movie was not playing. That disappointment didn't last long, though. It turned into curiosity and then happiness.

The video began to play and it was Gilbert, looking very nervous and scared, but also determined. it was actually cute, he was blushing and wringing his hands together, also playing with his hair a lot. Nervous, blushing Gil was adorable, you decided.

"Yo, [Name]. I know you're probably a little disappointed that The Perks of Being a Wallflower isn't playing. I knew that you would make me put it on, and even though we watch it at least three times a week, I will always enjoy it cause it's your favorite."

"So, you're now probably wonder why I put on this video on instead of the movie. I promise this is 100% serious. Frau, I have something I need to tell you. I now I seem very confident, but trust me I'm not. Ha, I am awesome though." he smiled as he looked down, seeming to think for a bit.

"Now, onto what I am admitting to you. Well, [F/Name] [l/Name], you are the most beautiful person in the world. You may not see it, but every little thing you do could be used as an example of beauty. In everything you do, even when you are at your worst. You could be crying so much that snot was running down your face and it would still be beautiful."

"Everything you hate about yourself, I love about you. You may think you look bad while sleeping, but your sleeping face is one of my favorite things in the world. Watching you in such a peaceful state makes me happy, you've dealt with so much and seeing the constant worry and paranoia off your face makes me happy."

"What you feel I feel. If you're happy, I'm happy, if you're sad, I'm sad, if you're breaking down, so am I. When you feel like there is nothing left, I will give you the hope of things getting better. I will always be here for you. The shame you feel over those scars I will give you love for. I will kiss each and every one of them individually, and for every scar I will give kind words. They may be a reminder of a dark time, but they are also reminders of how you survived. Love your body. Just like I do."

"I love every bit of you, bottom to top, in and out, flaws and all. In my eyes, though, you are flawless. [F/name] [L/Name], will you be mein Fräulein?" The video ended like that. You were speechless. Tears were forming in the corners of your eyes. After it all sunk in you jumped up, and ran out the door, right up to Gilbert and into his arms. You were crying, but these were tears of joys.

"Oh my god Gil, yes, thank you so much, I love you, hell yes." You said and he laughed while he hugged you to him tighter.

"You have no idea how fucking nervous that made me, and then waiting for you to watch it." He admitted.

You laughed with him and then he pulled away a bit to capture your lips. It was a light kiss, but is felt so amazing. You were happy beyond belief. You parted and smiled up at him, giving a happy sigh.

You guys went back up and cuddled on his bed to actually watch the movie this time. After the movie ended he looked at you and said your name.

"Yes, Gilbert?" You said.

He gave you a toothy grin. "Ready to see mein awesome five meters!"

You smacked him lightly on the chest, "Gil, no."

"Gil, yes." You smacked him again, but with more force this time, "Okay, sorry, sorry, I'm just joking." He smiled and kissed you again.

You moved around a bit in a more comfortable position, your head on his chest and his hands running through your hair. "Wanna nap?" He asked as he noted your yawn. He pulled the blanket over you and him, then he made it so you were both laying down, facing each other. You shared small kisses and whispers of, "I love you," until sleep had caught up with you. You were really happy, more than you have been in awhile.

Fuck it!
This is my first song fic and I am sorry if it sucks :[

The song is called A Match Into The Water by Pierce the Veil if you wanna check out the song.

I thought of making a fanfic for this forever [before I had DA] so I thought WHAT THE HELL! And made this ^-^
Please, please, please comment! I like comments :D
Favorite? If you like it? Pwease?

The preview picture I got off google so if you own in and want credit or don't want me to use it let me know I will give you credit or remove it at your request!

Hetalia - :iconhimaruyaplz:

You - :iconsexyprussiaplz:

The story - :iconmenohavename:

EDIT 1- OH MY GLOB!!! Thanks for over 200 views and 31 favorites!!! Same with the 43 downloads!!! I am like FLIPPIN SHIT!!! Thanks ^-^




EDIT 5 : How in all of the fucks did this get over 6,000 views? And just a bit over 200 favorites? I'm not that good of a writer in my opinion, was this really that good? Well, THANK YOU EVERYONE WHO HAS VIEWED, FAVORITED, AND COMMENTED~!

EDIT 6: kay seriously why does everyone like this so much. Like I wanna go back and read through it and fix all my mistakes and wording buT I GET TOO EMBARESSED AT MYSELF WHEN I TRY! Btw the ppl questioning the paper thingy in the end(that I don't remember cause I wrote this like 2/3 years ago) SHHHH I WAS LIKE 13 WHEN I WROTE THIS SCREW LOGIC! I'M SORRY FOR MY TERRIBLE WRITING AND THE "ZE/ZHEY/VAIT/VHAT" THINGY I HATE MYSELF SO MUCH FOR USING THOSE LIKE WHY DID I DO THAT

now I'ma go and try to read through this without crying of embarrassment to fix shit


EDIT 7: I legit only made edit 6 a few hours ago. So. I went through and basically rewrote this WHOLE thing. I only planned on removing the zhe/zheir/zhen/vait/vhat/vhier thingy but as I read through it I was so ashamed I started fixing shit so I spent the last 6 hours basically rewriting it. So some of the comments on this may be confusing cause I removed some stuff(more like a lot of the stuff) and I also added new shit.
For example, the way this ended. It ended with Gil confessing through ice cream, but I changed it to confession through video. so don't be confused if you read comments that don't fit the story. This thing has been up for 2/3 years now so yeah.

Sorry for any spelling/grammar/anything mistakes, I tried to go through it but it's 5am and my head hurts really badly and I'm sleep deprived so it was really hard, I've been writing since 10pm and I finished at 4am then spent an hour trying to revise.
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IceandLion121 Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2015  Student Artist
I have a friend who's name is Erin O.O and my favorite author is, well they go by the name Erin O.O 
wolfarena Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2015  Professional Interface Designer
Erin hunter?
ZeroTheCreepypasta Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Katsunuke Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2015  Hobbyist Artist
don't you mean fuck him Double Pistols and a Wink 
IceandLion121 Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2015  Student Artist
Katsunuke Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2015  Hobbyist Artist
EpicCatBomb Featured By Owner Sep 13, 2015   Digital Artist
Mustahelmi Featured By Owner Edited Aug 2, 2015  Hobbyist Artist
My best friend name is Erin! D:
Gothfoxgirl Featured By Owner Edited Jul 13, 2015
SkybrineCatspaw Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2015  Student Artist
oh my god!! that was amazing!!! made me tear up just a bit in the darker parts but DAMN!!

that one paert where i just told Erin off.. weird thing is, theres this clarinet girl named Erin who tells me to shut up every day! PARADOX!

other than that, i loved it! keep up the awesome work!

CrazyCartoonGirl22 Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2015  Student Traditional Artist
Oh I'm sorry that's the sound of my feel meter exploding....
Epic-Writings Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2015  New Deviant Hobbyist Writer
You too??
CrazyCartoonGirl22 Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2015  Student Traditional Artist
GreenMiku Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2015  Hobbyist Artist
"Ready to see mein awesome five meters!"

And I literally just throw my phone up into the air and onto my bed and nope. Lol love it!!
AventurerSara812 Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
I was like ;n; so sad through most of it

That ending I just died of laughter...... and woke everyone in my house up
Pumpkinspicegirl Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2015  Student Artist
Holy crap senpai!!! You are the coolest person ever!!! I don't watch alot of hetalia but I saw match in to water by pierce the veil and I was like O_O " ....senpai....* loud squealing noises* yusssss " so ya - your fellow kohai lux/winn.
TheMostEdgyKitty Featured By Owner May 30, 2015
The bit after Gil saves you, my thoughts? It was the start... of a beautiful...Rela-friendship. Darnit Pewds!
ForNANIA Featured By Owner May 27, 2015  Student Artist
i started crying cries Cry Cry 
Llama Fashion :+llama: you r awesome
dieyoungfangirling Featured By Owner May 25, 2015  Student General Artist
Ok I love this because I actually know the song you used! I mean most song fics I read, I just ignore the song part because I don't really know it... So that was pretty Awsome! But I was super pissed when you played the dream card... I was so sad and then I realized it was a dream. WHY Cry forever 
but it was also written well Britney Spears Yay :D 
MySweetLies Featured By Owner May 13, 2015  Student Artisan Crafter
" 'In Memory of _____ _____. From [Birth date] - April 7, 2013. "
Reader-chan died on my birthday.....
Rapunzelsis Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Random lady gaga
anakind87 Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2015
We all need guys like Gilbert:) Those whom become friends and stay your friend - even in the darkest moments and darkest hours. He was the protagonist's angel.:)
Randomsinger11 Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2015  Student General Artist
You looked up at Gil and gave him the what-the-fuck-did-you-poison-me look.
I get those looks all the time...
Lisa10109 Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2015
Loved everything about this. Pierce the Veil is the best.
XxXxDeaththegirlxXxX Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
i'm crying Q w Q i love dis fucking story sooo much 
MysteriousPrime168 Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2015  Hobbyist Artist
I also said no because it was that time of the month
thedemidod Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
THAT WHOLE THING WAS JUST A BIG FUCKING SWIRL OF EMOTIONS THIS IS FUCKING PERFECT I LOVE THIS excited happy Excited Blush Squee! Hamtaro Mouse Emoji-03 (Squee) [V1] CloudYayzPlz -request- Starfire Excited Love Plz 
peachykeen3502 Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2015
I second this ✋
lovleyluvsprussia Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
I cried in the  beginning and laughed at the end
iNSaNiTYisAmazing Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
._. Why did I enjoy the dream..,.
Anonymous-Person5 Featured By Owner May 28, 2015  Hobbyist Artist
We all did
iNSaNiTYisAmazing Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
kotadog88 Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2015  Hobbyist Artist
I love the what-the-fuck-did-you-poison-me-with- line XD
fangandme123 Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2015
Prussia:Ready to see my awesome five meters?
Me: Why not?
Prussia:Ummm... just forget it.
 I loved it. HAHAHAHA!!!APH Prussia Laughing England (Laughing) [V3] 
Chaosfired Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2015  Student Artist
XD lol 'my awesome five meters' XDXD I DIED RIGHT THERE
kittykatrocks12 Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
How did the paper survive in the ice cream? How did it not get all messy or torn up? Where is the logic? (Me being stupid)

Great story
ManiacleTurtles Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2014
Jaguar24 Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2015
That please account
baileycasad Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
Gilbert: but Michel!*gives puppy eyes*
Montana: no!
Sakura-Yotobari Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much <3
lucarioniteofAPH Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2014  Student General Artist
Prussia. We started dating 30 seconds ago. And you nearly made me eat paper. HELL NO AM I FOING TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU! 😓🇩🇪
awesum224eva Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Junko Enoshima (Kawaii Blush) [V5] oh myAi Fuyuumi (Blush) [V1] 
ShadowGamer1315 Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Then when reader-chan is sleeping he takes reader-chans vital regions 

 Spam-in-a-Box: NOOO  Spam-in-a-Box: NOOO !!!!!!!!
lucarioniteofAPH Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2014  Student General Artist
Oh god Manaka Surprised Icon Nuu Nuu 
ShadowGamer1315 Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Gothfoxgirl Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2014
XD -facepalm- Prussia...Prussia...Prussia
Sk8rchic2000 Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
And this is why Christan radio stations are incrediblely inspiring...

The song I'm listening to is called 'Here for a reason' and it's about suicide prevention...
muuu1234 Featured By Owner Edited Oct 1, 2014
*sobbing in emo corner*
lunareclipes294 Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2014
I'm sitting in the freaking police office and you make me cry XD DA FEELS!!!!
silverwolffox Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2014  Student General Artist
If you dont mind me asking, why were you at the police office.
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Submitted on
July 24, 2013
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